Let Go of Me

As a little girl, I never thought of falling in love or finding “the one.” Just like any little girl, I dreamed of a wedding, but not falling in love. As I got older I began to believe that no one would ever fall in love with me so why would I fall in love with anyone else? But once I got to high school, my whole view on love changed. I met a boy who quickly became my best friend.

He was extremely skinny and he had a dark brown hair- so dark that you would've mistaken it for black. He had gigantic brown eyes and eyelashes that were a mile long. His smile was fantastic and his dimples were the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

At the beginning, things were great. I was happy. We spent every weekend together, whether it was Netflix at my house or dinner at a random restaurant, the stereotypical perfect teenage relationship. But after a while, things would change for the worst. He seemed distant and, in some instances, completely disinterested in me.

I eventually found out that he was seeing another girl and I was devastated. A whole year of my life wasted. Afterwards, we tried getting things back on track. We wanted to start dating again. It just ended with constant arguing and crying. I began getting more and more tired. There is one particular argument that always stands out to me.

It had been on a half-day at school. That boy I had-and still- loved so much had asked me to hang out. I had plans with a boy who had begun to like me and some of our mutual friends. When he found out, he stopped me in front of the steps of the school. “You're going with him?”

“I'm going with a group of friends.”

“You're seriously ditching me for HIM?”

“I'm not ditching. I told you that I couldn't hang out.”

He had then grabbed my arm and burst into tears. I could feel my heart breaking.

“Please don't go with them. Stay with me. Please, stay with me,” he said. His grip had gotten tighter and it had started to hurt me. I didn't know what to say. “Let go of me.” I made sure to speak in a whisper. “No! Stay here and talk to me.” I kept telling him to let me go. Every one of my requests got louder and louder. He wouldn't let go of me. It had gotten to the point where I yelled at him.

“LET GO OF ME!” I yanked my arm away as roughly as I could. Everyone who had been in the vicinity turned and looked my way. My friends called out to me, “Yo! Come on! We're gonna go eat now.” I looked away from him and walked away.

I cried on the way to the restaurant. I loved this kid so much, yet I knew I didn't deserve to feel like I was the reason for everything that had gone wrong. That day I realized how much I had put up with, and I learned that love is a compromise and that things wouldn't be easy. To this day I still love that boy. Probably more than anything.