Unrelatable

Death

I constantly think about the idea of death. What does it really mean? Does it just end my existence? Is that it, game over? Unfortunately I cannot answer these questions as no one has truly and fully died and come back to tell us about their grand adventure. I guess I could call it fortunate that I have not experienced a person who was very close to me dying. I cannot know that feeling, when a human being who once meant so much to me no longer exists. 

            My grandmother's life and mine overlapped for less than a year. I have no memory of her, only a dream-like photograph of her holding me as a baby. The picture seems so perfect for some reason. There we are, me sitting on her lap. She somehow got me to look at the camera, which is a daunting task from my mom's memory as I was notorious for not sitting still.  I wish I could have met her. My mom tells me she would never put me down after picking me up. She was the ideal grandmother and I really wish I could personify her more, but unfortunately I can't.

It is really difficult for me to understand why bad things happen to good people. At home I am showered with, "It's all in God's plan" and, "Just trust in God". The death and suffering of good people cannot be part of the plan of such a good guy right? Though this memory is very recent, it is a memory. One of my friends is not feeling so hot right now, she is in the hospital. This is definitely not a great time for her. She is smart and funny, I always have fun hanging out with her. This friend of mine is the kindest person I have had the pleasure of meeting. So why is she having to suffer through this horrible ordeal? I guess only when death hits me, can I feel its power. Until then, all I can conclude is that this world is not a just one, don't believe the hype.