Talentless

Talent is a trick subject with me. Anyone that knows me will agree to this statement. For me, drumline is life. The only problem is that I don’t consider myself to be very talented. Can I play, I guess, do I have to work harder than everyone around me to sound decent, yes. I’m not talented, I’m a hard worker.

I remember band camp my freshman year very clearly. I was put on first bass drum, so I thought that I was good. I thought I was better than good, I thought I was a gift sent from the heavens. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Different rhythms and pitches came naturally to everyone except me. I found myself having to stress over stupid mistakes just to sound presentable to the people around me. Even my brother told me that he remembers me coming home after practice and diving into the music, with a look of anger and determination. The music didn’t always come easy, I had to struggle and work that’s what has made me the player that I am today.

I remember one occasion in particular where I felt just horrible about myself and my skills. Some people think that it’s stupid, but I don’t, to me this was serious. We were in band one morning, finally working on our fourth show piece. The first twenty measures was a drum break inspired by a drum solo that Ringo Starr did for the song Abbey road. Everyone else’s part on the bass line was more complicated than mine, I had a simple beat that lasted the full twenty measures, so whatever I was just going to chill with it. My band director counted us of and we started. It went good for about two and a half measures when I messed up. Whatever the first time is always shaky, so we tried again, and again, and again. I messed up every single time and I was getting nervous. I was nervous and mad and disappointed. I was humiliating myself in front of everyone over the simplest beast to ever exist (looking back on it, the beat didn’t mess me up, it was how I fit in with what the others were playing). I was shaking and I dropped my sticks, it seemed over to me. My director looked at me and said, “Diego, you’re good, but you’re not that good. Stop being complacent and mad pick yourself up and go practice.” Those words stuck with me.

I practiced, because that was the only way that I would keep up with everyone. I would play it off, pretend that I never practiced act like I didn’t care. In a way I wish that I could be like that. Just slack off and pull of a miracle last minute, but I can’t. I’m not wired that way. However I think that this makes better than others. I’m motivated, to prove my worth as a musician, to others and to myself.