I had never experienced the death of someone close to me. It was hard to imagine losing someone who had such a great influence in my life. To me tragedy only happened in movies, kind of like something made believe. When I used to live in Juarez, my parents would constantly be working in order to get a home of our own (we lived with my grandma) Due to that my grandma would take care of me until my parents came home, which was usually late at night. My grandma Ofelia became my second mommy.
Something that I will always remember about my abuelita is when we used to race to the store and back. It was so fun. I thought I would beat her since she was a grandma, but surprisingly we would always get there at the same time. After a while my parents were able to buy a house here in the U.S. We moved and left my grandma by herself. Of course my dad would try to make the visits to her house as often as possible – every once a week. I would stay with her on the weekends and leave Sunday afternoon back to El Paso.
My grandma started getting sick over time. She could no longer walk and talk. The family started taking turns to take care of her. Each one of my uncles and aunts would go to her house over the weekend. I wish I could explain what happened to her but I don’t like to talk to my mom about my grandma’s death. There is a sort of a guilt I feel for moving to El Paso and leaving my grandma. Losing her without apologizing is something I can never get back.
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