My First Love

                        Although, I’ve had crushes throughout all my years of going to school, I never knew what love felt like... until the summer I came back from Monahans. A month before my dad’s passing, it was great! I remember getting ready to go meet with my best friend at the time across the street and then they pull up, my sister’s friends who were sisters. My older sister and them have been friends since kinder so they’ve known my little sister and I since we were babies so they had come over quite a few times and since we were gone for a whole year, they wanted to visit Ari. Before I was leaving, they asked me if she was there. I told them she was and I left soon after.

                        A few days go by and I find out that one of the sisters likes me which was weird for me at the time because I didn’t know how to feel about it. Sam was her name. She had come over almost every day that summer and one night while she was over, she had put her number in my phone and we texted, a lot. Over time I started feeling weird, and by weird I mean that every time I would see her, I couldn’t breathe, my face would turn red and I would overreact when my sister told me she was coming over. The thing is, my sister didn’t know what was going on. She knew that Sam liked me and she also knew that I didn’t “roll that way”. She didn’t like the idea of her liking me, though and she didn’t know how much we were texting so she was oblivious as to what was going on.

                        A couple weeks after, she comes over and because of the fact that my sister didn’t like the fact that she liked me, we had to be very discrete in talking to one another. So we were texting instead, sitting in the same area of the room. She tells me how she feels, but I don’t know how to take it. I didn’t know how to respond to that. After a while I realize that I liked her… too much… I was scared of feeling this way, but I knew somehow… I loved her. I knew I loved her because I never felt this way. Every time I would try talking to her, I couldn’t breathe, I would get all red, my stomach would have this weird yet nice feeling… I just knew, and I was scared.

                        A few months later, she kissed me and I was the happiest person alive, but as time went by I never had the courage to tell her how I felt… until my eighth grade year. I got my heart broken because I waited too long to tell her how I felt. After I poured my heart out to her with how I felt about her, only to find out she had moved on by that time. We were never going anywhere and I ended up crying myself to sleep that night. I kept thinking how stupid I was to fall for her. I fell right into her trap and I should’ve known better than to fall head over heels for someone. I was so pissed at her, but mostly myself. After that incident, we haven’t talked since, but I did move on.