Growing
up, I’ve learned a lot of things. I’ve learned a lot from what I’ve been
through, good and bad. Everything I’ve done and been through have gotten me to
where and who I am today.
After falling in love with the wrong people
and getting my heart broken, I’ve learned more of what I want, more of what’s
good for me, and not to settle. After getting stabbed in the back by my “best
friend” I’ve learned that there really isn’t such thing as a best friend, not
in this generation, anyway. After losing my dad and my dog I’ve learned that I
don’t do so well with separation.
Today, I suffer a lot from what I’ve been
through. After losing my dad, I now suffer from anxiety because I never grieved
enough. I refused to cry because at the time of his death, I didn’t want
peoples’ pity. I wanted to be strong for everybody and now I suffer because I’m
not as strong as I thought I was and as more important people came in and out
of my life, I became more weak. I worry more, I cry more, and I’m still
learning how to be strong.
As much as I hate to say it, people don’t
really stay… best friends don’t last forever, love doesn’t last forever, loved
ones don’t stay in your life forever, and to know that really sucks, but I have
learned and to be honest, even after all the hell I’ve been through, I’m happy
with who and what I have become- the person I have become and I wouldn’t want
to go back and change anything because I probably wouldn’t be where I am now.
To lose someone you care about is really hard and I know how you feel about not wanting someone's pity. I can relate to your story.
ReplyDelete.....I really like this story.....
ReplyDeleteIt feels like the wrong thing to say thought. I was lured by the title, and as I read I understood more and more. You are completely right in calling it the ugly truth. Because that's exactly what it is, the very ugly truth
But...I know what you mean. I understand what you are saying, even thought this experience is yours and yours alone and I truly admire you for going on for such a long time. You a really strong person. It takes true bravery to say outloud, even if its through writing, that you are suffering and that you have anxiety. I struggled through something similar, but not the same, some time ago. And I love your story because I understand what you mean in the end, and it makes me extremely happy that somebody else can see it, even thought it sadeness me at the same time. More people need to understand that just because you are hurt doesnt mean that you are damaged, only that you are healing, becoming a better version of what you once were.
I can't even rate this. This is much to precious to do that.